It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
