You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
