we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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