my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
