ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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