I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
