You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
