Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
