Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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