HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It's Friday. Sex?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
