Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
