OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize