Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
