his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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