my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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