so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
