How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
