3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
