and she was petting her beer can
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
