i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
