If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
