And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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