I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
