i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
