all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
