And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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