You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
