Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
