he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she looked like the before picture.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
