So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just want to make out with him forever
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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