She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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