She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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