Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
