so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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