addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
