Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
