I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
