I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
