true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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