Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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