i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
