2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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