Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
