You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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