Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
