Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
