ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
