just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
