It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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