put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
