what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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