I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
